ABOUT THE BOOK

BEHIND THE BOOK (CONTAINS SPOILERS)

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Love, Rosalyn is a work of fiction inspired by the grief I experienced when I grew up and confronted the reality that most men in our society are nothing like they are in the books.

Rosalyn's voice embodies the deep-seated insecurities and doubts that some victims of sexual assault may face—especially those who once cared deeply about their aggressor. Of course, everyone's story is different. This is one of thousands. 

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Rosalyn constantly wonders whether Toby would not have committed the atrocities he did if she hadn't broken up with him in the first place, or if she had simply been kinder. I think that society trains women and people with uteruses to think this way—that if they had worn something different, or acted nicer or more loving, they would never have been assaulted. Her self-doubt and imposter syndrome take over so completely that she loses both her sense of self and her sanity. She obsesses over an image of Toby that was never really there to the extent that Love, Rosalyn reads as a romance novel at surface level. 

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Victims are often asked questions like, "Why didn't you just leave him?" or "How can you possibly still care about him?" or my personal favorite, "Why didn't you take legal action?" *cue eye roll.* I hope if people with that type of hateful mindset come across my book, they learn how it feels when you realize the person you love is not who they say they are.  Not everything is so cut-and-dry, so easy, and words really do hurt sometimes. 

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But more importantly, if you are a survivor, I hope that Love, Rosalyn makes you feel less alone, or crazy, or whatever it is that you're feeling. You are capable of love, and you are capable of being loved. Even if you don't see it yet. 

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I would also like to make it clear that my goal with this novel was not to glorify Toby, though Rosalyn's traumatized mental state may make it seem that way. Toby is a rapist. He shames Rosalyn for her queer identity and makes her hate that part of herself. He gaslights her into believing that her political opinions aren't important. So I never wanted to glorify him. My goal was to showcase a lesser known, but equally devastating symptom of sexual assault: that some victims feel the need to romanticize their trauma in order to keep on living. I know that it is an unsettling, questionable, problematic story, but it is also a reality for thousands of women. Believe me, the shame can feel unbearable when something like this happens, and it comes from everyone. Remembering a more perfect Toby is Rosalyn's method of psychological survival. She is utterly convinced that what they had was love, and the majority of the book reflects this mentality. It is the job of the READER to tease a different reality out of her letters.